like me.

I am not myself right now!! There are a number of things that have been happening slash that I have been doing that are uncharacteristic of Laurel. Without naming every single little thing that's been odd, because that would take a while, I'll just tell you one.

I cursed today!! For real! Like, I was mad, I started yelling, and a said a curse word! At someone! I don't DO that! Something is definitely wrong here. Next thing you know I'll be smoking and drinking up a storm! Okay not really, I just severely freaked myself out today. Can someone please help me get to the bottom of this? I can't tell if this change that is taking place is necessarily a bad thing. Yeah swearing might not be so beneficial... for anyone.. But maybe I've been holding myself at a higher standard than I hold other people and this is me.. falling? Which would, in a sense, make me more.. me. Or at least more real. 

Not too long ago I was in a fightslashslapintheface with my best friend. She brought it to my attention that I haven't been very honest with myself.. Therefore making it hard for me to be completely honest with anyone else. Basically that I'm a fake. She said it pretty nicely though. Which I appreciated greatly. But the point is that I need to start being honest. Since I've been aware of this little fun fact.. Everything started changing. I started changing. 

And now I have to decide whether or not I like me.