help it.

I tried. It was easier in the beginning because I didn't know where I was headed. I didn't know what was going to happen. Was I going? Or was I staying? Either way, I didn't know how to act. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to ruin it. So it was easy to stay away, or at a distance at least. I even had help, if I can call it that. She doesn't like the idea forming in my head at all. She convinced me I was being reckless. For a while. But I can't ignore it any more. I tried. And now I can't help it.