over with.

I still haven't decided... Am I really ok with this or am I just pretending because I know it's what's best? I want to say that I'm really okay. But then, say anything that reminds me of him and I crumble. Right about now, had things been different I would be in his truck, headed east out to the gorge, preparing myself for the most amazing concert-to-be known to mankind. I think part of the reason I'm upset is because I still could have gone, had it not bothered me that I wouldn't be 'going with him' anymore. I could have been there. But I chose not to. I think in the long run it was the right choice.. It just sucks cause I really want to be there. Think about it though. I might have seen him. I would have been with other people. People he never met. People I wish he had. It would be hard to listen to the songs he sang to me while we were still together without him there to sing with. So I sit here, wishing with all my might that it could turn into Sunday. Get the weekend over with already. I can only imagine what tomorrow is going to be like.