nearly four.

It's late at night and I can't help wondering if this is how I want me to be. I wish that sometimes I could fly or disappear, then come back home a new and perfect person. There wouldn't be a reason to not let go. It's coming out so wrong I might have to start all over again and tell you all I never said. I'd be the best at being brave. But tonight I'll sit and think of words that never come when I need them most. I'll write them down and curse the day I'll never get to say them. Pretend I'm there. Come find me when I'm missing. And pretend I'm there when you're alone. I'll pretend I'm not scared, you'll never know the diffenerce, but believe me when I say that I'm alright. Cause I'll say that I'm alright. And now it's nearly four, the morning coudn't be more infectious than this cureless disease of hope and failing disbelief. Why can't I sleep? I'll dream of you and when I wake up I will wish I'd never fallen so far.. But I fell so far in love.. And I'll never get to say it.