doing nothing.

It's always been hard for me to let go and give it all up to God, and lately I've been feeling like He's teasing me. Just to humble me. 

Here laurel, I have something for you. Now go ahead and show Me your plans for the gift and as soon as you have it all figured out I'm going to pull the rug out from under your feet just at the right time so that you don't get hurt. Eventually you'll get the idea that every thing is My doing. But until then, I'm going to build your trust in Me. Forcing you to see that I have it covered. Nothing will get past me, good or bad. Just remember that I love you. Oh, and here's another. So show Me your plans for this one...

It's like a big joke and He's just waiting for me to give up. I'm just waiting for me to give up. I keep telling myself that it would be so much better just to submit to Him and stop trying to control my own life. As soon as I can do that, I'll be able to live my life the way He wants me to. I'm only setting myself back. I keep thinking that I can take little pieces and manipulate them to be the way I want them. It's actually pretty funny. I'm starting to look forward to the next rug pulling. Because I want to get to that last one. The one where everything becomes clear. The one that proves I've been doing it wrong all along. The one that starts the first day of the rest of my life. So ha! Bring it on. I'm ready to start doing nothing. Not ignoring Your initial set up of course, but removing my own desires from the equation. By doing nothing, I'll be more open to Your suggestion.

So show Me your plans for this one...